Dog Goes “Number One” During Puppy Race at Suns Game 

*Fans looked confused, being used to seeing “Number Twos” on the court (specifically, during the playoffs)
*No word if PETA will be protesting outside NBA games tonight

An Uncle Rico Production:

Phoenix, AZ – During a halftime puppy race at the Phoenix Suns’ game against the Sacramento Kings this Tuesday, a dog unexpectedly left a wet mark on the center court. Perhaps it was the intensity of the spotlight, or the expectations that accompany competition. Or, maybe my guy just had to pee.

Was the Puppy’s choice to pee politically motivated?

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In a league known for its politically charged rhetoric, we cannot overlook the idea that this dog was taking a political stance for all under-represented animals being used for profit by The Man.

Was this puppy merely going pee-pee, or was it this brave puppy’s attempt at avante-garde/reductionist political commentary, with the Suns’ home court playing the role of “Capitalism”?

Deep. Thought provoking. 

Maybe political wunderkin-turned-artist, monsieur Hunter Biden, could sell the paper towels used to clean up the pee at his next art installation; rake in another cool $500k.

Even ex-Phoenix Suns forward Ish Wainwright appeared to be enjoying the situation.

The race itself was already a catastrophe before the dog pee, filled with mayhem typical of puppy races during basketball halftime shows. The puppies seemed confused about the direction, resulting in a cluster at the start line and requiring toys for guidance. Unfortunately, the only people who got to see this were basketball enthusiasts watching on NBA League Pass, or fans inside the Phoenix media market.

Interestingly, this wasn’t the first instance of a canine marking its territory on the Suns’ court, with a similar incident occurring in 2022.

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Usually, it’s the players taking a big, fat dump on the court, generally starting in April. So pee from animals is always a welcomed change of pace. The Suns’ streak of court crap during Game 7s is unrivaled; a record surely never to be broken.

And yes, the Suns ended up winning. I already told you, “April”…

Should “Puppy Races” be recognized as a form of animal cruelty, or should being a Suns fan?

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