Dem Apples: Kendrick Perkins Forced to Eat Apple Flavored Crow


By Ron Johnson

It is safe to say that there are those who are envious of others. This exists in life, in politics, in journalism, in television and even in sports. One such blatant suspect of jealousy is Kendrick Perkins. Just from this season alone, Perkins has spent so much time trashing and bashing basketball players that have more talent, more fortitude and put our more effort than he ever did in his career. To say Perkins is a salty sack is putting it mildly. Perkins is 1000% jealous of some of the athletes in the NBA today.

It has gotten to the point where he might need to go buy a cheap bottle of Thunderbird and dig up some of that courage he had in his prime…if such a thing ever existed.

The reason I have centered my crosshairs on Kendrick Perkins is because of his blatant disregard for unity at all. Perkins in a way is old school. He still feels that he is better than everyone else, even in this era of NBA play. He has not held back for his disdain for players like Draymond Green and Nikola Jokic.

It has gotten so bad for him, that he claims that the only reason that white basketball players have a legitimate shot at MVP or win it for that matter is because the white voters put them in that driver’s seat. No, according to Perkins, it is not because of their style of play or their talent or how they perform on the court. When Jokic won NBA MVP, Perkins downplayed it as it is because Jokic is white. 

What Has Kendrick Perkins Ever Done?

Maybe it is because of the fact that Perkins has never been in the running for MVP.

And after looking at his numbers, it does make sense why he never won one and why he only has one ring to his credit. Via Basketball Reference, Kendrick Perkins only averaged 5.4 points, 5.8 rebounds and one assist per game. He shot 53% from the field and shot 59.4% from the line. His player efficiency rating was 10.7, and his win share was 27.9. All of these numbers are from 782 games played in his entire career. 

So yes, I have to ask the question: What the bluest of blue hells has the one called Perk done for the NBA?

In 14 years, this native Texan has been as obsolete as a Cowboys Super Bowl. As stated previously, he has not been a person of interest in many conversations. Maybe it is because he was not listed as one of the Top 75 players in NBA history. Maybe it is because he contributed the bare minimum as a player.

Maybe it is because he only won a ring because of the play of Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce when he was a member of the Celtics. I cannot state for sure the level of animosity that is in Perkins’ heart, but eventually, someone has to call him out for his BS. 

Insert former player JJ Redick, former Duke Blue Devil and Orlando Magic.

During one of many recent heated debates between the two, Redick was in the middle of his rebuttal when he started hearing some very odd noises coming out of the pipes of Kendrick Perkins. When pressed about what he was doing, Perkins responded that he was disgusted.

This would lead many to question just how serious Kendrick Perkins takes his job as a supposed NBA Analyst for ESPN, myself included. “During a segment about MVP front-runner Nikola Jokic, Redick jumped into the conversation to make a comment about how he felt the show had pushed ‘narratives that do not exist in reality’ as it pertained to race being a factor in this year’s discussion about the MVP candidates.” (Koons, 2023)

Kendrick Perkins

Now I’m certain that ESPN used to be the ‘Worldwide Leader in Sports,’ but honestly, they have gone downhill when they chose to give hacks like Kendrick Perkins any ounce of credibility. Bear in mind that this is the same guy who got clowned on by Draymond Green after Perkins called him out for calling him a clown.

In fairness, Perkins is a clown due in large part to not being able to wink properly. The three names that Perkins utilized to solidify his argument were Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki and Jokic. Again, I honestly feel that Perkins is jealous of the fact that Jokic has been a workhorse for the Nuggets, and the proof is in black and white. 

Of the last 10 MVP recipients, Jokic is the only one that was of a lighter skin tone. In fact, from 2013 to 2023, the NBA MVPs were LeBron James, Kevin Durant, Stephen Curry (2x), Russell Westbrook, James Harden, Giannis Antetokounmpo (2x), Jokic (2x) and Joel Embiid. So I ask Kendrick again: Where did a player’s race play a factor in him winning MVP. Like other sports, MVP should go to the player that proves to be the biggest anchor of his team.

Is your issue with Jokic the fact that he has not only been the anchor of the Nuggets but that he is also a proven, pivotal leader both on and off the court? I ask this question because so far, every argument you have shot out of your mouth has been complete and total BS. 

I only abbreviate the word because I do not want to contribute to your lack of true intelligence. 

Now I want to pity Kendrick Perkins because he claims to know all things basketball, but the fact that out of the last 10 MVP awards, Jokic is the only one that is not black that has won does negate Perk’s argument. Now obviously, it is hard to ask him anything about football, because I’m pretty sure he sucks at analyzing that. And before anyone starts coming after me for coming after him, bear in mind that I am coming to the defense of Redick due to Perkins’ complete and total stupidity. 

In other words, it is not my fault that Kenny cannot brain.

Oh, and Kendrick Le’Dale Perkins, I got a question for you: Do you like apples?

You do? Good. Well…

And Jokic earned this MVP Award!

HOW DO YOU LIKE ‘DEM APPLES HOMESLICE?! {Insert correct wink here]


Koons, Z. (2023, March 7). JJ Redick, Kendrick Perkins Have Heated On-Air Exchange About NBA MVP Voters. Retrieved from Sports Illustrated :

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