The Lords of the Rings: 6-1, the Eagles Have the 1!

A Reminder to Eagles Fans Who Pennsylvania Belongs To

A Bear Acuda Scroll.

Philadelphia was once a jewel of this great nation. It’s the birthplace of an American unification, our declaration to England that we will no longer have a king, and that democracy will reign true (as laid out in our Constitution & Bill of Rights). When people thought of  Philadelphia, they thought “Liberty” & “Pride”.

But that was 250 years ago.

If aliens were observing y’all from above, all they would see is a dumpster fire of loud mouths & criminals who have nothing but sports teams who can’t win the big one.


Yes, the Eagles made the Super Bowl last season.

Yes, the Eagles have won a SB more recently (2017 v 2010).

Yes, Philly is amidst a sports renaissance a la Boston circa 2008. But franchises are judged by their championships, and the way their fans conduct themselves, not how hard they tried & how obscene they can be. Pittsburgh IS & has been the Daddy of Pennsylvania sports for quite some time. We have tried to teach our northern children how to act like they’ve been there before. Only problem is, they haven’t.

Let’s look at the facts:

We have 6 rings; the most in NFL history. 

The Eagles have 1.

We have 5 Stanley Cups, the most in NHL history.

You guys have 2…..from 1974 & 1975. I’m pretty sure Nixon was still president for one of those.

We have 5 World Series rings.

You guys have 2 (most recently in 2008).

You’re on a good run. We are not. For now.

The NBA is where you have the advantage. 

I’m an honest man, and can call balls & strikes fairly. I admit we’ve never had an NBA team, and the Pipers & Condors of the ABA weren’t anything to write home about.

You guys, on the other hand, have 2 chips to your name (most recently in ‘83). You also drafted one of my all-time fav NBA players, the pound-for-pound GOAT, Allen Iverson. I’ll admit, the turn-of-the-century 76ers were NICE. But that’s it.

We all know the sport’s world (and media) judges cities by their overall championships; mainly in the NFL. That’s why the Dallas Cowboys are somehow still a thing. And yes, you guys have a better team right now. Your Eagles found a new head coach who figured out how to build an offense around Jalen Hurts (QB), utilizing his gifts & limiting his short-comings. Lurie is a good owner and never shies away from making a splash via offseason trades or free agency. Your future looks bright. Doesn’t change the fact that your fans take pride in being the shitpigs of NFL bleachers, in a perpetual state of angst.

lord of the rings

Us, on the other hand, are in a period of transition. Kenny Pickett (QB) is a Pitt product who has flashes of being a suitable field-general. He’s young & has a lot of work to do if he wants to slow the game down. Much of that will come from the experience live-fire produces. The rest will fall on his preparation; in-season & out. And we will love our guys, irregardless of the transition period.

We don’t feel we are owed anything. We may have an heir of arrogance for having organizational stability throughout our history (thank you Rooneys), but boo birds & field trash aren’t a home game staple. Our fans carry themselves with a certain sense of pride & dignity; the kind that consistency & winning affords. We’re also known to build our team through the draft, not having a reliance on bringing in big names in hopes they fit in. Last year, it clearly worked out for y’all. But the “Dream Team” is just an attitude or unhappy player away. 

For this reason, the NFL Draft is one of my favorite days of the year. It’s just another opportunity for us to welcome our next Hall of Famer into the fold; one more future gold jacket to add into our team closet. This year, it will come in the form of Luke Van Ness (Iowa/DL/Soph) or Nolan Smith (Georgia/OLB/Sr). 

Yes….I’m well aware our top needs are OT & CB. Maybe we use our #17 on a Brodrick Jones (Georgia/OT/Soph) or draft Brian Branch (Alabama/S/Jr) as some sort of Nickel/Hybrid DB. Maybe we move up  from #32 to ensure we can swipe Cam Smith (South Carolina/CB/Jr). In a perfect world, I’d see us move up to draft Paris Johnson Jr. (Ohio St./OT/Jr). I have to quell my “hometown bias” & pass on Joey Porter Jr. While his father is an absolute Steel Town legend, I personally think he’s been overgraded. He’s not Top 15 material; #17 is a stretch. I’d rather take a Clark Phillips III (Utah/CB/Sr) on the back end to fill our CB needs. Dude is a dog, and a perfect student to fall under the tutelage of HC Mike Tomlin

Mock Draft:

#17: Luke Van Ness 


#32: Darnell Washington


#49 & #80:  Swap Picks

Move back one round (#49)

Move up one round (#80)


Blake Freeland (BYU/OT/Jr)

#8 ranked OT

Clark Phillips III (Utah/CB/Sr)

#11 ranked CB

#120: Demario Douglas


#241: Jarret Patterson

(Notre Dame/IOL/Sr)

#251: Nesta Jade Silvera

(Arizona St./DL/Sr)