Sorry Swifties, It’s The Brother Of Taylor’s Beau, Jason Kelce Who Won “Sexiest Man Alive” Title

An Uncle Rico Production

Jason Kelce – People’s Sexiest Man Alive

Jason Kelce

We at Bleacher Brothers send out our deepest condolences to the newest of Kansas City Chiefs fans for a blow to their fantasy kingdom. The man currently courting QTS (Queen Taylor Swift) was passed over for People’s title of “Sexiest Man Alive,” instead opting to award his Nordic barbarian of a brother, Jason Kelce. 

Jason Kelce, the future HOF center for the Philadelphia Eagles, found himself in the company of celebrities like Usher & Timothée Chalamet in the rankings of People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” issue. While this will certainly add some jeers & jokes by his teammates & opposing offenses, this will be an award celebrated by the “Dad Bod” heroes of the world. “Dad Bods” began trending on social media post-COVID lockdown.

There was apparently a large female population who enjoyed their men with some meat on their bone, unlike the paunchy, dangly art show curators legacy media & entertainment continuously tries to sell the public on. 

The Kelce’s are literally the new posterchildren for the face of what weak men & women call “toxic masculinity.” They are two bros who love to bro out; one had his own E dating show, the other is a carbon cutout of Captain Caveman, and both entertain the world with their podcast. So it will be interesting to see who JK’s title will be received amongst the people who are against athlete/gym culture.

This is a huge win for dads & “everyday” males everywhere, and the “Art of Subtlety” might just be the key. Unlike many of his peers who make a statement with their game-day attire, Jason is known for his casual, everyman approach to fashion, often appearing as though he’s chosen his outfit straight from a pile of laundry.

Responding to the accolade from People with his characteristic modesty, Jason played it down with humor during a 94 WIP interview on Wednesday.

Jason Kelce

“I’m not even the sexiest man in my family, let alone the sexiest man alive……My head did not need to get any bigger walking around the house, that’s for sure.” 

And sorry, ladies. Jason is not on the market. 

He and his spouse, Kylie, are parents to three daughters, the youngest of whom was born earlier this year.

So the question becomes, in their relentless pursuit of celebrity, did the media mistakenly fixate on the wrong Kelce? 

In other words, who is the better Kelce?

**If you’d like to find out more about Jason Kelce, check out his documentary on Amazon Prime.

Now, for your enjoyment, some more clips of the 2016 Golden Globe sleeper “Catching Kelce”…

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *