Dem Apples: Michigan Vs. Everybody

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By Ron Johnson

Michigan Vs. Everybody

Michigan

There was a song that came out a few years ago. It signified to a lot of people that the South, East and West were not the only places that hip hop lived. But what was special about this particular track: it was thought of, created, headlined and featured arguably one of the best musicians of this and any generation, Eminem. 

The song is called Detroit vs. Everybody and features a plethora of artists, including Big Sean and Royce Da 5’9. And while the song may not make sense for anyone that has not followed hip hop in recent years, those in Ann Arbor live it and love it. In fact, the Wolverines have embraced their villain side as the Big Ten continues to try to keep them out of the College Football Playoff and replace them with their illegitimate love child Ohio State instead. It has gotten so bad for them, that even the CFP Board has put the Buckeyes on a pedestal that they do not belong on.

But rather than raise a stink to the same equivalent of what these Carny Jagoffs have done in the front office of the Big Ten Conference, Michigan chose a different path: prove them wrong and punch them in the mouth…metaphorically speaking. After the latest round of shenanigans from the Ohio State Conference, it is clear what their plan is. And Michigan has the perfect response. Herego, this is why their tagline for the 2023 Season is Michigan Vs. Everybody.

We discussed this in length last night, and because the Big Ten wants the spotlight so badly, we are going to give it to them. The Big Ten chose to suspend Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh while he was on a flight to Happy Valley…I will say that again: WHILE Jim Harbaugh was travelling to Happy Valley to coach his Wolverines in a pivotal matchup with Penn State, the conference of zero morals decided that they were going to inform him that he was suspended for today’s game.

So while Harbaugh watched his students from a hotel near Penn State, the Michigan Wolverines went to a time-honored tradition of ground and pound to take down the Nittany Lions 24-15 to improve to 10-0 on the season. 

On Saturday, a judge chose not to rule on a TPO that was filed by attorneys for Michigan and Harbaugh. This is rather ironic seeing as how “experts” kept saying that Michigan has not played anyone this season up to this point. That itself was very laughable no matter who you ask. The same can be said about the team that the Big Ten wants to represent them in the College Football Playoff in a few months, Ohio State. 

What is also laughable and ironic is that an in-person hearing is slated for Friday at 9AM, the day before the Wolverines get one more tune-up game, this time in Maryland, prior to the showdown with the Buckeyes.

Clearly, the Big Ten has not figured out that the best chance they had to be National Champions was during COVID, and even then, people weren’t buying into the hype of the Buckeyes being the best. Ohio State has had a weak schedule so far, and yet, they have struggled against opponents as well.

The Conference was hoping that Penn State would put out the fire of the Wolverines today, but unfortunately for them, this Michigan is not the program of old. For all the times that the Big Ten had a chance to blacklist Harbaugh but didn’t, it is the most hilarious thing that they would assume that Harbaugh is guilty of illegal sign stealing. 

Speaking of that, how did that sign stealing thing work out for the conference today?

Sherrone Moore once again served as Michigan’s acting head coach, and the funny part is that it wasn’t an aerial assault that took down Penn State. In fact, it was Penn State that took down Penn State. Whether it was the failed 4th and short attempt or the failed 2-pt try after pulling to within nine, Penn State found every method necessary to shoot themselves in the foot.

But of course the Big Ten is kicking themselves in the backside, because their well-laid plan turned out to be a moment of Return to Sender. 

While everyone rejoiced in Harbaugh’s suspension, not only was it a dumb move by the Big Ten, but it was also a move that will most likely lead to Sports Karma for the conference altogether. Yes, we spend our times calling out the ignorance of the CFP Board, but the fact is that Ohio State has yet to earn the top spot if you look at the numbers.

If anything, Georgia and Michigan should be competing for the top spot, Florida State should get the third followed by Washington. Ohio State should be nowhere near the College Football Playoff due in large part to their lame-duck schedule that makes them look intimidating. 

Spoiler Alert: Ohio State isn’t intimidating, not even on the same level as the other three.

But of course, since the Board is full of fossils, and the Big Ten loves to play dirty, it is not a question of will a team get screwed. It is a question of which one. If Washington wins out and clinches the conference, they should go in. The same should be said for Florida State and Georgia. As for Michigan, if they take down the Buckeyes, that does not mean Ohio State goes to second or third.

That should take them out the running altogether. Pit them against USC or something because IF they get the nod, they will be what they always have been: A dumpster fire of entitled stupidity.

But this article is titled Dem Apples for a reason. And usually it is about a team, a game, or a player. In this case, it is an entire front office of a conference that has zero faith in its programs putting in the work and possibly earning their spot. They’d rather set them up to look ridiculous, and that is the reason as to why Ohio State most likely isn’t going to the show. We saw what resting on your laurels did for Oklahoma. It is only a matter of time that Ohio State will fall.

So Big Ten, The Captain has a question for you: Do you old heads like apples?

Well despite your best attempt to slow down Michigan’s momentum and cripple their gameplan, they leave Happy Valley well…happy. Plus they get the win and should jump your precious Buckeyes for either the first or second spot. Even better, your sports karma is most likely going to happen sooner rather than later. Bottom Line: Michigan STILL won.

I guess it truly is Michigan Vs. Everybody. And these kids AND their coaches wouldn’t have it any other way. 

One more question: Big Ten Fossils: Michigan Owned You Today. How Do You Like Dem Apples?

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