Dem Apples: Florida State Football is a Joke

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By Ron Johnson

I will say it since no one else has the stones to say it: Florida State Football has nothing but Karens in pads. They had a chance to show that they were worthy of National Championship Status, but instead of stepping up, they chose to clutch their pearls and attempt to speak to the manager.

Luckily, the manager gave them the finger they deserved. But he wasn’t the only one.

As Alabama and Texas both fell in close games that deserved high praise from everyone, Florida State was apparently still running their mouths. They took shots at Alabama and even Kirk Herbstreit in an attempt to have everyone ignore two things: One is the fact that Georgia owned them in every facet of their Orange Bowl (don’t even go at me about the backups). But the second was the one that made me crack up like there’s no tomorrow.

ESPN was so embarrassed to put you guys on television, that this was the score they put on their website…and this is the second thing:

florida state

So who was Georgia playing in this game again? Because even ESPN thought it was Florida. All the hype around Florida State being the best in the country, and they didn’t even bother showing up to their own funeral? That’s just plain embarrassing. But Florida State wanted to save face. Twitter handle: Marlon Joker was quick to take shots at Herbstreit, but he clearly didn’t pay attention to the elephant in the room: Florida State lost by 60 in the Orange Bowl.

Now for those who don’t get the severity of this, I can help you with that. The Orange Bowl happens to be in the state of Florida, the same state that was trying to sue (yes, SUE) the CFP Committee for leaving Florida State out of the College Football Playoff. But let’s look at it from this angle: Jordan Travis was not going to play in this game, your backup entered the transfer portal prior to this game and your freshman quarterback (who only threw 55 yards in the ACC Championship) was slated to start. 

Look at the defenses of Alabama, Texas, Washington and Michigan. There is a good chance that Florida State was going to lose this contest. It has already been proven that Florida State is not on the same level as the SEC, but to know that they can’t even hang with the Big Ten should be enough of a sign for them to just back off the BS that they’re bringing to the table.

My wife had made it clear that I should be impartial as a sports writer, but as Eric Bischoff has said time and time again, controversy creates cash. This isn’t even controversy. This is a bunch of whiny jagoffs who decimated a mediocre conference, barely survived their own conference championship but expected the CFP to be handed to them because their Florida State. If you need proof of that, the last time that the Seminoles were in the playoffs, Jameis Winston was their quarterback against Marcus Mariota and the Oregon Ducks. They got stomped out 59-20.

Tell me again how Florida State “deserved” a shot at the crown? Would they have caused a stink if they lost outright? Bottom line is that Florida State didn’t have the talent to hang with four teams that provided enough excitement heading into Monday night.

But don’t take my word for it…

florida state

LSU’s Slade Roy was quick to point out that this Seminoles team, injured or otherwise, decided not to take this proving ground seriously. On top of this, their fanbase was in full force trying to support them, but I would not be surprised if some of those fans decided to start cheering Georgia to throw the last amount of dirt on their grave. The Seminoles let their fans, their alumni and their governor down. They proved what I have said about them for decades: They’re the punchline of college football.

The fact is this: Florida State Football is a joke. They have proven the last few weeks, by surviving Florida, edging Louisville and not even showing up against Georgia. Best piece of advice I can give is if you are going to talk a lot of trash, get on the field and back it up. And since Jordan Travis and a slew of Seminoles did not have the balls to do just that, this is the part where everyone in the state of Florida and supporters of Florida State should just shut their piehole.

You had a chance to prove your worth, and you didn’t even show up to the dance.

So, Florida State do you like Apples?

Well you got beat by 60 by the SEC, aren’t really much of a thought heading into the National Championship Game, and were so irrelevant and obsolete that they thought you guys were the Florida Gators.

How do you like Dem Apples? I hate being right.

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