By Ron Johnson
Just when you thought Week Six threw all of us a curve ball, Week Seven took it up a notch. On a night where the Texas Rangers found out who would be their opponent in the World Series starting soon, and after a slew of referee interferences on Week Seven, Team Collision decided to throw down their updated List of Collision.
The Captain’s Picks will be in blue, while Rockin’ Reese’s Picks will be in red.
Dishonorable Mention: The Refs. They know why they’re on this list. If the NFL don’t like it, I’m here to tell you…we don’t care.
The List
32) Las Vegas/Carolina: The Raiders couldn’t find the mark against Chicago this past week. The Panthers were on a bye so the only bonus for them is that their fans didn’t have to deal with another loss.
31) Washington/Detroit: The Commanders could only muster seven points against the Giants, while the Lions could only muster six against the Ravens.
30) Shittsburgh/Washington: The Steelers stole a win in LA after the refs chose not to use their old head glasses. As for the Commanders, only seven points on the Giants. Enough said.
29) Tennessee/Arizona: While the Titans were on a bye week, they’re still a dysfunctional home. The Cardinals are lost without Kyler Murray under center, and it showed in bunches on Sunday.
28) Arizona/Las Vegas: The Cardinals need some serious help to make themselves relevant again, while the Raiders just need to proceed with the firing of Josh McDaniels.
27) Green Bay/Tampa Bay: The Bay Teams couldn’t seem to capitalize on the madness of these two franchises, and it showed fully on Sunday as Denver and Atlanta got the wins.
26) Los Angeles Chargers: The Bolts seem to still be suffering from the Monday Night Hangover after losing to the Cowboys last week and the Chiefs this week.
25) Buffalo/Miami: So the top two contenders of the AFC East both lost in majorly bad ways on Sunday. But only one of those losses was expected. How you going to lose to a mediocre Patriots team?
24) Tampa Bay/LA Rams: Letting a kicker give Ridder his first road win, while utilizing all your time outs without a chance to challenge the spot of the ball? Bad move for LA.
23) San Francisco 49ers: These guys thought they were dominant. And then they got beat by Cleveland and Minnesota, who were both considered trash compared to the Niners.
22) New Orleans/Green Bay: The Saints are having buyers remorse about getting Carr from Vegas, while the Packers are wishing for better days when Love was just a spectator.
21) Carolina/Buffalo: The Panthers got this as a gift considering they didn’t play, but Buffalo earned this drop after the last two weeks.
20) Miami/Tennessee: The Dolphins’ potent offense was kept in check visiting Broad Street, while the Titans got to watch their coach get honored in Foxborough.
19) Chicago/New Orleans: The Bears got a hard-fought win over a lowly Raiders squad, while the Big Easy is clamoring for Jameis Winston at this point.
18) Denver/Cincinnati: The Broncos, for once, were not unlimited diarrhea, and the Bengals got to take another week to heal from their woes after taking down the Seahawks last week.
17) Indianapolis/NY Jets: Despite a loss, the Colts fought hard until the bitter end. As for the Jets, they can enjoy their moment in the sun for a little bit longer.
16) NY Giants/Houston: The Giants survived a scare from the Commanders, while the Texans are enjoying the fact that they are not the laughingstock this season so far.
15) Atlanta/Dallas: The Falcons escaped Tampa with a win, while Dallas is still trying to make sure their squad is ready for a little Trick or Treat with the Rams this Sunday.
14) Cincinnati/Indianapolis: The Bengals didn’t play this week, which should work for Joe Burrow. As for the Colts, they almost won, but couldn’t survive the Hunt.
13) Minnesota/NY Giants: The Vikings took down one of the most dangerous teams in San Francisco, while the Giants didn’t have to do much to take down the Commanders.
12) Houston/Atlanta: The Texans got to enjoy the madness on their bye week, while the Falcons got to get one step closer in the NFC South with a win over the Bucs.
11) Detroit/Denver: The Lions went from first to out of the top ten by getting kneecaps repossessed, while the Broncos survived the Packers in Mile High.
10) LA Rams/Seattle: The Rams earned the 10th spot due to the refs and Steelers screwing them out of a chance to win. The Seahawks earned it for bouncing back and getting back in the saddle after losing to Cincy last week and beating the Cardinals this week.
9) Seattle/Minnesota: The Seahawks bounced back (even though it was against the Cardinals), while the Vikings shocked the Bay Area on Monday night.
8) New England/Shittsburgh: The Patriots took down the mighty Bills, while the worst team in the AFC North got a gift from the zebras. FYI: Kenny Pickett still sucks.
7) Philadelphia/New England: The Eagles bounced back from the loss last week to take down the Dolphins on Sunday night, while the Patriots got Belichick’s 300th win by taking down the mighty Bills.
6) Jacksonville/Chicago: The Jags got some fish and chips in London and some gumbo in the Bayou, while the Bears got to send McDaniels back to Sin City with a loss.
5) Dallas/Jacksonville: The Cowboys were on a bye week, while Jacksonville earned their spot. Who stays in the top five after next week?
4) NY Jets/Kansas City: The Jets were on a bye week as well, while the Chiefs got themselves back in top five.
3) (Universal Champion) Baltimore Ravens/Philadelphia Eagles: The Ravens shut the Lions down and took their kneecaps instead. The Eagles recovered from their first loss and stuck harpoons in the Dolphins on Sunday night.
2) (World Champion) Kansas City Chiefs/Baltimore Ravens: The Chiefs showed better execution against the Chargers, while the Ravens showed why they paid Lamar Jackson all that money.
1) (Broken Skull Champion) Cleveland Browns: The Browns have had the best two weeks of everyone. From handing the Niners their first L to proving that they can win without Deshaun Watson under center, the Browns earned the right to hoist up the title of top dog. Having a shootout with Gardner Minshew and the Colts and becoming one of the most watched games of Week Seven also helps.
